Mean Mum

Posted: November 9, 2012 in Misang's Inspirations

This article was posted in N@W and I want to share this with you. I know a lot of you can relate.

My mum wasn’t really a ‘mean’ mum…She’s just strict I guess. When I was younger, she made me do all the house-chores you can name – clean the house on weekends, do the whole family’s laundry, iron clothes, cook our meals. She won’t let us sleep over our friend’s house until we were in college. She won’t let us have dance practices/play rehearsals at our classmate’s house because she said it’s not necessary. She won’t let me go with my friends in swimming parties. When I was in high school, she won’t even let me stay after school for my extra-curricular activity (I was a Taekwondo player) but later she had to let me because I was already competing for school then.

When it comes to dating, I have to sneak out and had my first boyfriend when I was a sophomore but didn’t last long because I was too scared of my mom. She won’t also give us a lot of money for our allowance, she insist that what she gives is already enough. Then came college and it’s a lot more fun than high school, but still, she insisted that she know our class schedule and go home when class is over. I was furious every time she calls me when it was already 5 minutes past my schedule. She would even text my classmate if we are not going home yet.

And now that I’m reminded of my mom’s meanness, I suddenly missed her and realized that she’s not really that mean. She made me do house-chores at an early age and here I am, very much independent. Yeah, there were times (only twice) that I came home drunk because we cut class and and drank at a classmate’s house instead (but I tried my best to still walk straight) but I never heard a word from her, and I never went home drunk again. I went home with my classcards with 3’s written on it but she just told me to do better next time. Because of the “enough” allowance that she gave me, I learned to save in order to buy things that I want. And when I realized that she trusted me already, I learned to behave better.

Now that I have a kid already (and goodness she’s a girl!), I hope I can raise her like what my mom did to me. Sure there will be times that we’ll have the mom-daughter conflicts, especially in her teenage years but I hope she’ll be more mature than I was.

Here’s the article:


Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will tell them, as my Mean Mum told me: I loved you enough . . . To ask where you were going, with whom and what time you would be home.

I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep.

I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.

I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren’t perfect.

I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.

But most of all, I loved you enough. . . To say NO when I knew you would hate me for it.

Those were the most difficult battles of all. I’m glad I won them, because in the end you won, too. And someday when your children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.

Was your Mum mean? I know mine was. We had the meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast.

When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches.

And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had, too.

Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You’d think we were convicts in a prison. She had to know who our friends were, and what we were doing with them. She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for
an hour or less.

We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labour Laws by making us work. We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the rubbish, and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lay awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.

She always insisted on us telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenagers she could read our minds and had eyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really tough!

Mother wouldn’t let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could meet them. While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 22.

Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced…

None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other’s property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault.

Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mum was.

I think that is what’s wrong with the world today. It just doesn’t have enough mean mums!


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