Tackling Infidelity – How I Fire Fight to Keep a Marriage

Posted: November 3, 2012 in Misang's Inspirations
Tags: , ,

This was the recent thread in N@W. Maybe because of the “Affair” movies that are coming out recently, someone opened up a topic on how we, wives, would deal with a cheating husband. The topics were from “Tackling Infidelity” to “Are You Happily Married”. I’m sharing with you one of the post that I really loved and I hope this will inspire you too.

Due to the non-disclosure policy in N@W, I won’t be naming the author of this post…and please, it’s not me, OK?

I want to twist around this conversation and give positive notes and advice coming from real experience. Yes, I have experienced the infidelity of a husband and it has been a difficult journey during those trying times. I would like to share how you as a wife can win, overcome and heal. There is no room to entertain separation, annulment and divorce – it is your job as a wife to fire fight when your marriage has caught fire.

1. Pause/ stop and pray.

Sometimes we have been too busy with the grind of life that we have forgotten the most important in life… God. Ask God to be present once again in your life and marriage. Often times we always say God should be the centre of marriage but is he even present in your day to day activities as a wife, mother and partner? Ask God to show you what areas you need to surrender back at him. Pray for your present situation and pray and get down on your knees for your husband.

2. Confront but listen without judging.

When I found out about the affair, my world crumbled. I was paralyzed and deeply hurt. I would look at my daughter and cry. But God gave me the grace to write my thoughts down (so I won’t be irrational), confront my husband and discussed with him without screaming, throwing things. I chose to listen – even if it hurt. When you listen – there is wisdom to see the cracks in your marriage.

3. Establish and activate your role as wife.

I know many of you here get discouraged as a wife and would easily choose to leave your husband. My stand, this is where thick and thin is to be applied in marriage. It’s time to be the wife you were called for in your vows. Know that you are the rightful partner for your husband and if you need to pull your husband out of the situation you do so. Agree to put hedges and make a list of things so that you can protect your marriage. In my experience and other friends experience, husbands will always choose their family over the other woman. But you must learn to listen and not judge. Be the better woman- don’t degrade your husband and make a scandal. Give him a safe place to admit his mistakes and give him a chance to do something about it. ( this is so hard to do because you want to kill your hubby for even getting there in the first place.

3. Improve on the areas your husband is seeking from you.

It could be your lack of time, it could be your sex life, it could be the lack of respect or how you look. Whatever it is- work on it. Remove the pride of saying “it’s always been like that” or he should love me for who I am… Just fix what needs fixing… Don’t dwell on the drama.

4. Make your home a happy hour.

Don’t be dooms day. After that ordeal and his wanting to change… Make sure your home is a fun, clean and orderly place to be. Cook up good dinner, give him a massage, have good conversation, have game night, movie date – have a few drinks and food… Just do things to make it worth coming home to.

5. Encourage your husband and speak well of him when he does something right.

Don’t withhold compliment to win your husband over.

6. Pray, for your husband daily.

One that he will desire you more and more. Pray that the other woman will be convicted of her action. That he will find flaws in her and will expose her sinfulness and not want to be with her.pray to have a revival in marriage and pray to have a forgiving heart and healing in marriage.

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