If You Wean, I’ll Lose

Posted: January 20, 2012 in Misang's Motherhood Journey
Tags: ,

I have already reached the one-year mark in breastfeeding. I never thought I’d go this far, even thinking of quitting along the way. And now, here I am again…

15th Month (March 2012)

Yesterday, I decided to try to wean Iya from nursing directly from me. Few days before that, I did a lot of reading regarding weaning. Some suggestions or tricks are somewhat funny but if you think about it, kawawa naman yung mga baby. Some tried putting coffee powder on their breast so that the kid wouldn’t want to suck on it again. I also bought some fresh milk for her to try. I want to try eliminate lang her daytime nursing. First of all, why? I don’t really know what made me decide but it’s more of I want to rest na from breastfeeding. Although breastmilk is the best, I think I have already nursed her enough that she can stop na anytime. She’s eating well naman and doesn’t get sick so maybe she doesn’t need to nurse na. Big girl na sya e. So, yesterday I tried not to nurse her.

And I failed.

I can’t stand seeing her cry that hard. Kahit ako naiyak kasi kawawa naman. So I just made her stop crying first then I let her nurse. But I was successful naman in putting her to sleep for her afternoon nap without breastfeeding her. Come day 2, same scenario. This time I gave her expressed milk. I was able to put her to sleep in the morning without feeding her. Kakaawa lang kasi she fell asleep siguro coz she’s exhausted from crying. Then, when she woke up, she was still crying. Of course, naawa na naman ako, I let her nurse again and then she went back to sleep.

Then it hit me. I realized she’s not ready yet. I realized that I’M NOT YET READY. I’m not yet ready to give up breastfeeding. I realized that I want to keep on bonding with her through our nursing sessions. If I stop, I’d lose all those moments when she would touch my face or play with my eyes while she’s feeding from me. Those times when she would look at me and smile and then go back to nurse from me. I don’t want those moments to end yet.

And I also realized that it’s harder if I stop. I’d have to clean her cup several times a day, thaw her milk, making sure the milk is not yet spoiled. A lot of things to consider. But when you’re breastfeeding, you’ll just pop out your boobs and go. No cleaning up to do. All I have to worry that my other breast is leaking and my shirt is wet with milk.

Oh well..sabi nga ni hubby it will come naturally. I will always remember na lang what I said before:

“Kahit 3 years old na si Iya ok lang na nagbe-breastfeed pa sya”

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